The Day After

Day after marathon. I wake up in the fetal position, unable to move. I realize, that even though I just woke up, I have a sharp and distinct memory of the pain I have been in for the last 2 hours at least (since the pain medication wore off.)
Alarm goes off. Beep upon Beep. I get up, motivated by the thought that if I get up I can stop the pain by getting some Advil.
Get to the bathroom- depressed, realize that I am out of Advil, and I would have to crawl it to my closet, bend my legs to put presentable clothes on, straighten up to comb my hair, limp to my car, including one deadly flight of stairs, get both into and out of my car in order to make it to Walgreen's, where I could purchase some Advil, of course I would have to wait in the parking lot till it kicked in before getting into my car again. ---Depressed, I decide to do the only rational thing in the morning... pee. I crash down on the toilet, then realize that I can't get up. The toilet paper holder turns out not to hold my weight, so I use a trick I learned in Aikido. The aikido roll. I'm off the toilet in no less than 5 minutes after initiating departure attempt #1.

Sweet! It turns out that I'm third in my age group! I think that means I receive some thing from a jeweler. It's not so much the award, but the feeling, knowing that you came in first, second or third in something, a feeling that not everyone gets to have. The good people of the Tucson Marathon organization committee know this and they are out to help everyone, not just the fastest people who have likely won lots of things before. They created category upon category upon category. This way, more people can feel special by looking down on other people who didn't score as highly among pregnant runners wearing purple. There is also a clydesdale division. Wonderful name. Tough, fast and beautiful. This is for women 160lbs+, of course on the registration form it says 140lbs+. ----(Flash back to the date of my marathon registration)---I'm probably around 135-140, man, I didn't know I was moved up into a special division! I'm not gonna sign up. Wait a second, I'm probably 140 after all this "study candy", and tapering my running down, if I qualify I should sign up. Besides, there is a good chance I'll place, and maybe I'll get something good like money or a gift certificate. Plus, if they are gonna say that I'm a Big Person, I should stick it to them, take their prizes and run fast. Unity with my people, I will not deny my kinfolk. I'm signing up.-click click-

Oh NO...What is this, everywhere else it says that clydesdale's are 160+! (few! At least I'm not with those overweight people.) What if there is an award ceremony! There is no way to fix the form! Akkkkkkk!!!
--Guess who won the clydesdale division?
No sympathy from friends who say they wouldn't have signed up for a big person category even if they qualified. Whatever man, if someone is gonna call you a big person, you should get over your pride and take the prize, especially if it's money.
But it kind of sucks how there is a beautiful, strong clydesdale who thinks she came in second, when she was really the best. The best of the big people. You go girl!

I am having a bit of an acne problem since I moved to Tucson, I wonder if i would sign up for a beauty contest among people with acne? And what of the Special Olympics? What about most women's sports? Who are we really comparing ourselves to anyway?

Philosophy aside, I contacted the race director via one phone message, one email, an email to the web tech and a call without leaving a message, so hopefully they will get things straightened out, give the right person the award, take my name off the site. (vague thoughts of receiving the award/gift certificate, and either blackmailing them to change the website, or keeping it for the cost of my embarrassment) I wonder if this will be the first thing that pops up when someone Googles my name. I think i'm gonna try to cut back on my study munchies.

I'm really not as mature about this as I had hoped I was. But chances are, neither are most people. I hope they are in my division, so I can know that I'm better than they are.

Oh yeah, and the pain meds I got when I had my tonsils out are helping a bit with the pain, but certainly haven't helped me negotiate my way through venue, personal jurisdiction, supplemental jurisdiction or claim preclusion. It's good to be able to make it to the fridge the bathroom and back into and out of a chair. Basic need first. Poetry didn't develop until people could get off the toilet without the aid of the towel rack and the door frame.