Time keeping

Time is so elusive. I have been dating my papers February 31, 2008, only to learn that we are three days into March already.

It’s curious to wonder what the difference is between February 31^st and March 2^nd or 3^rd. No difference except that Feb 31^st doesn’t exist on our calendars, and thus, it doesn’t exist. But there is an observable physical difference between day and night, and old and young. Does that mean that the planets obey some law of time? But then again, planetary and lunar movement is how we measure time. So is there time without movement, without change?

Maybe women who get plastic surgery really become that much younger (in one sense at least).

For the last few days I am aware that I don’t remember if I’m 26 or 27. I don’t actually want to know because experience tells me that if I can conceive of being 27 that I’m probably 27.

It is the standardization of time in my culture that makes time keeping arbitrary to any one person.

Maybe if we kept our own time we would believe that every time is the right time for action and for living and for owning one’s life.

Leaving History

The thought of graduating from law school is making me surprisingly nostalgic. I was more than ready to leave high school and itching to see what college was all about. When the time came to leave college I was ready too, though petrified about what came next. When it was time to leave my job I may not have been ready, but I had grown tired of Boston.

Now I feel like I just got the hang of law school. I’m finally in my element and growing in the ways that I want to grow. I’m taking advantage of my skills and learning so many different things. I have more genuine friends here than I have ever had in one place. But everyone is leaving – not just me. So if I stayed I would be enjoying the weather alone.

Thinking about all the people I’m leaving I worry that my history and experiences are being left behind. There is no community with knowledge of me as a whole. I feel fragmented. Old friends have a special value, offering continuity with oneself. Even if you like the new you, better than the old you, knowing how much change you have achieved can be comforting.

Materialism and Virtue, Marketing and Lemmings

When did our society get confused,
Thinking that gluttonous consumption was a virtue,
A president elected on the "moral" ticket advises us to spend our money on cheap Chinese goods to make the economy stronger, the land fills bigger and our savings accounts smaller.
Thinking that materialism is not idol worship if the goods are disposable.
Commercial announcers bellow from stomaches rather than taste the lies in their own mouth. Forked tongues shirking responsibility for words others wrote.
(Blame Adam and Eve! They are the crazy fools who want to buy it! They DEMAND it -- of course they didn't even know about it until I told them.)
I'm wasting all of my money so I think that you should too, otherwise you will be richer than I am and you will devalue my Brand Name-Trade Marked bag. (You've got to keep the good will of the company- after all, companies are people too)
Just because you need a firm job and litigation experience.
Because no one wears big hats.

Where does this path of least social resistance get us? We will have friends. These friends will know us just as little as we know ourselves.

Email Buddy, Hats, Dumpster Diving, and near naked men

I think Barack Obama would be a great President. He's inspirational, he seems to be really listening and making informed decisions. However, when I check my email for messages from potential employers and cute guys... I always have an email from Barack. He's always inviting me to parties - though I wonder if he would ever show. I know he's married, so I hope, I just hope he's offering me a job next time.

On a less pathetic note, I FOUND THEM! the hats that I was meant to wear.
The gracefulbutterfly store completes my need for flapper style hats. Downside: I now need to dress nicely to compliment my hat!

I also love Pandora Radio because I can now listen to great music even though I don't know many artists. It's like God took pity on me for not paying attention to the top 10 at 10 when I was 13, the point when I became a lost cause to music, and took his throne in the DJ booth for me.

Regarding my new exploits in the realm of dumpster diving: This most recent trip I realized that as liberal as I aspire to be I don't think I actually like touching the dumpster in any way.

I contemplated the unfortunate dilemma of male swimmers, either you wear speedos and look like you should be faster than you actually are-and if that doesn't make you self conscious you are still nearly naked in front of your peers and women in bikinis, or wear board shorts and sacrifice hydrodynamics while telling anyone who swims that you ARE self conscious - or, worse yet, wear the strange spandex long shorts and just be confused.
-It's your choice, but the knee length spandex look terrible.

A bird of change

It has been forever. An unopened diary is sometimes the product of a busy body… but not always.

A few months ago I was interested in integrity- wholeness, strength of character.

Now I’m particularly interested in passion, and making change. I’ve been on this kick for a while, though after seeing the motorcycle diaries I am more worried about not having a cause or a direction for my passion. What happens to passionate people looking to make change when they live privileged lives that appear to be rosy? Do they pour themselves into making change among the trivial? (By the way, I’m running for student government on a platform of change.) How do I look beyond what is in front of me?

I have decided to get an education, on the understanding that that is the path to happiness, a path that will allow me to function within the system. If I’m always taking that easiest path, then how do I ever change anything? When do I stop following the instructions of others and create something new?

So with my ivy league education, my law school degree I have been instructed to get a firm job- even if that is not my end goal, I should get the experience… allow my mind to be shaped by the firm so that I can better work the system. But a gear in the system functions too smoothly with the machine to make a difference.

My heart has fought to be unique my whole life, and yet I let my educational and professional goals follow a typical mold.

I am excited by Elinor Ostrom’s theories on collective action. Unfortunately I don’t want to study them as much as I want to help others use them. I might have stayed a consultant and worked with mobilizing communities. I would have enjoyed the ever changing challenges. I like to help make things happen.

Done Done Done Done!!!!!

Guess who is no longer a 1L?!!!!!!!!!

Sweeeeeeeeeetttttt----
(Of course I'm in some summer class now-only one hour after my panicked submission of my crim pro final exam- but whatever!)

Notes from the caverns of a 1L’s apartment

It’s May 1, expected highs in the mid 90’s. I will be at my computer all day, yet again, so I cranked on the AC for the first time this year. Lamenting the loss of cooing morning doves, and breezes through my apartment, I seclude myself with a protective film of separation from the weather. Visualizing myself as a sacrificial martyr I rationalize my American demands from Tucson Electric.

By the way, reading Torts & Compensation for 11 hours, followed up by a chapter from The World According to Garp may cause dreams of oversized animals who have broken out of the Zoo and terrorize the NYC subway system.